My Mum is diagnosed with breast cancer.
Year, that’s really … shit.
But also, it’s really … good.
I don’t know how I can describe my feelings at this moment.
But what I know is that I’m so thankful.
Thankful that I still have a Mum.
Okay, let’s start at the beginning.
It was a Tuesday. The 6th of June 2017.
Normally is Tuesday one of my favorite days in the week. Because I mustn’t go to work. Normally I went for a wonderful nice walk with my Mum and our Dog Nala to Kolmar (a little beach at the Elbe). And normally after the walk, we join the Yoga class. After that, my Mum and I have a big breakfast, but at this Tuesday I went alone to the beach and alone to the Yoga class.
What I didn’t know was that my Mum found something hard in her breast during the shower. Then she drives to the doctor together with my Father and has to get a lot of medical tests.
I can think back to the moment when my boyfriend came to pick me up from home and my Mom and Dad came back. Our cars meet on a small street and we waved to say hello. Then Dad drives further and I wonder why they didn’t stop the car for a minute and speak to us. That’s would be as most normal but at this Tuesday was nothing normal.
Later I packed some clothes in our little flat to clean up as I got a phone call from my Mommy.
She told me that she found something in her breast and that’s why she spends the whole day at the doctor.
I remember that I didn’t understand what she wants to tell me, but I remember that I ask what it is and Mum told me that she didn’t know anything and that we have to wait until Thursday.
I told her that I love her and that’s everything will be okay.
Next thing after I hang up the phone I think about if I should say that to my boyfriend. In my head makes nothing sense, but I realize that I want to tell him. So, I went to the kitchen and told him what my Mum had told me minutes before.
He was confused, but he did exactly the thing I need in this moment.
He took me in his arms and keep hold me.
At the next day, I went to work. I work in a little but super smart Café and I can’t tell my boss what happened yesterday. I don’t know why, but I think I wasn’t ready to speak about it. I remember that I wasn’t really there, I was with my thoughts somewhere else.
I evaluate the possibility that my Mum maybe has breast cancer, but maybe it’s just a limescale.
I try to think about what will change.
And the most horrible thing was the uncertainty.
The uncertainty was a bitch.
That goes out to all the beautiful and powerful women’s who have to fight against cancer. And this goes out to all the families who have to go over such hard times.
Feel free to leave a comment! Maybe you know such a situation and want to tell your story.
Leonie the Lion